Get Around Him!
This is the Coburg Superules segment page that features and profiles new players that have arrived at our famous Club. It might save some of us the guess at training and on match day.
Meet Tony Lombardi
Please welcome Tony. Tony is an Estate Agent who is married with no kids, no pets (commonly referred to in the age of abbreviations and hash tags as a DINK, we THINK).
He obviously has no idea either because he's a Hawks supporter. Actually a pretty lucky Hawthorn follower because he's attended their last four winning grand finals.
Tony's football history lengthy like a police rap sheet, 160-odd games with Epping in his junior years and 150-odd games with Old Paradians in the Ammos. He's a right footer who plays as a half forward or midfield and when asked to describe himself as a footballer he said that he "talks too much".
Tony carries the nickname "24" (I'm pretty sure we can come up with a better one) and he claims the funniest thing he has seen on the footy field, is watching us Supers right now, harsh but fair 24. He couldn't actually come up with a clear reason as to why he joined Coburg Superules.
Tony who's greatest achievement is 12 years in real estate (we think he could have got a lot less with good behaviour) enjoys cycling in his spare time and, if you don't see him over the next few weeks that because he is in New Zealand on a massive bike ride of some sort. His favourite food is pizza and he loves the drink "Grey Goose". He's a fan of DJ Tiësto and his favourite TV show is Everybody Loves Raymond.
When asked to share a secret, he gave the obligatory answer "No Secrets" (sounds like a song), and when asked which three people he love to have around to dinner, he stopped at one...Victoria's secret model Candice Swanepoel...we can't argue with that.
Finally Tony was asked to give us three words to describe himself, he came back with Love My Self.
Welcome aboard Tony! #getaroundhim
Meet Jared Willits
Jared is a Medical Scientist (that’s a guy who makes drugs) who is married with two kids and a pet dog called “Oscar”.
“Jay” as he likes to be called joined Coburg Superules when Hotty invited him down due to the Ressies being short on numbers and he hasn’t looked back since.
A right foot Utility player Jay describes himself as “quicker than he looks”. He has long history playing at Macleod, Parkside and Old Paradians thorough is football life. He told us that the funniest thing he has ever seen on the footy field is him getting called into the Ruck last year, well, you did say you were a “Utility”.
Jay is a fan of Lasagne and a connoisseur of beer brand Stellar and, in his spare time when he’s not watching TV or having drinks with friends he coaches basketball. Jay lists his favourite musos as U2, Powderfinger and the Chilli Peppers. Now we cannot confirm this but Hotty claims Jay’s favourite movie is one he has recently viewed, going by the title of 50 Shades of Gray.
Let’s talk about secrets for a minute. We’ve been wondering ever since doing his profile interview what Jay gets up in his garage. Far from us to be suggesting anything but when we heard that his favourite TV show is Breaking Bad and we took into account that he is a Medical Scientist, we thought perhaps we should be saying “Meet Walter White”. Here’s the real secret though, Jay is ex-military having spent time in the Army where he also played a fair bit of football.
A Carlton supporter who lists his childhood hero as Steve Silvagni. The three people he would love to have around for dinner would be Heidi Klum (can’t argue with that), Warren Buffett (one of the greatest businessman of all time) and Karmichael Hunt (this must be his Jesse Pinkman?). If he could attend any sporting event in the world it would be the Monaco Grand Prix.
A family man Jay describes himself as honest, committed, and hard-working and he struggled to suggest his greatest achievement in the end stating “I’d better say my kids”, good answer Jay!
Welcome aboard Jay. GET AROUND HIM!
Meet Tim Corboy
“Timmy” (think South Park) is married with two nippers, a cat, a dog and goldfish. “Corbs” as he likes to be called, is a Truckie and a Richmond supporter. Being a Tigers supporter it comes as no surprise to us that Tim takes his holidays in September each year.
Timmy said he joined Coburg Superules because it “sounds like fun”. He’s a right footer and claims to be a ‘Back Pocket Truckie’ (a touch of Sheedy there) and last played in the Under 18s at Kilmore, where he also played most of his junior footy. When asked to describe himself as a footballer he stated that he is like a computer, he only needs the information punched into him once (easy to coach then?).
We all like blokes that like to laugh at themselves and he quotes his funniest moment on the footy field as him pretending to be a goal umpire.
Describing himself as trustworthy, quiet and one who doesn’t shout (that’s no good when we are having a round), Corbs loves a beer and his favourite dish is Pad Thai while listening to the timeless voice of Johnny Cash. He’s also a Blues Brothers fan who spends his spare time fixing the house and chasing the kids.
Tim lists one of his achievements as riding a pushbike from Melbourne to Perth, a hell of a feat if you ask us and hopefully that will stand him in good stead to take the field in round 1, although, you do have the question the guy’s sanity.
When asked to share a secret Corbs informs us that he can’t see very well without his glasses. So do the math and get that straight in your head…Tim’s a Blind Truckie! Will the streets of Melbourne be safe again?
If Tim could have three people around for dinner it would be Johnny Cash, Bill Hicks (the comedian) and his Old Man. He lists his childhood heros as Allan Border and the “Flea” Dale Weightman and, the sporting event he would most like to attend is the Superbowl.
Finally Corbs lists Saving Private Ryan as one of his favourite movies which is why when asked the time honoured question of who would you turn gay for he responded with Matt Damon.
Welcome aboard Corbs! GET AROUND HIM!
Meet Salvatore Di Falco
Sam is an Optometrist (that's a Practitoner who specialises in eye and vision care for the uneducated), and a Collingwood supporter who is married with two kids and dog named “Dexter”. More about Collingwood and Dexter later.
When asked about his reason for joining Sam informed us he wanted to 'give it a go' and that it was an opportunity to avoid his wife and kids on weekends! Fortunately Sam de-friended his wife on Facebook prior to this segment going to air.
He claims to be a right footer although he tells us that aside from a little Auskick and impromptu matches in the schoolyard Sam never played a competition football match in his life. We think though, with half marathon listed as one of his achievements, a green belt in Karate to his name and that he lists his hobby as “running”, he’ll likely acquit himself well on the field in the endurance stakes. We are reliably informed that he models himself off Peter Daicos who is his childhood football hero although he mentioned Rene Kink in there somewhere too.
Can we forgive him for being a supporter of the black and white? Maybe, because well, he appears to be a very confused Pies follower. He tells us that “he has a low tolerance for f…wits” which is what the rest of us normally associate with Collingwood supporters. It’s a bit of an oxymoron if you ask us.
Let’s wrap this up with a few home truths and secrets. As you have already read, Sam has a dog called “Dexter”. It is no word of a lie that Sam tucks Dexter into bed at night. He also revealed to us that he puts talcum powder under his armpits and despite having his backside busted from his karate Sensei he reckons he is too dumb and lazy to grade beyond green belt. I’m sure that will impress the coaching staff at Coburg Superules Sam.
Welcome abroad Sam Di Falco, GET AROUND HIM!